First things first. Sorry for not writing yesterday. I had a really busy day. I went to work out with my recruiter for almost 2 hours. We went for a 2 mile run and did a bunch of other stuff...pull ups, push ups, flutter kicks, hello dollies, side straddle hops [aka jumping jacks], the WORKS!!! Then I came home to relax, but didn't end up doing much relaxing. Then, by the time i had time to write, all I wanted to do was sleep.
Today. Today, today, today! I went to my youth group this evening, as I typically do on Sundays. I was prepared for the usual socializing and idle chit chat. What I wasn't ready for was the wave of emotions that washed over me. While the band was performing, I couldn't help but look around me at all the other students. One particular group caught my attention. There were three freshman girls directly in front of me. I watched them as the music played. About half way through the third song, the girl in the middle seemed really distressed. Immediately, her friends wrapped their arms around her and began to comfort her. I suddenly remembered the days when I was that girl. I realized how many good friends I'd be leaving behind. As I stood there watching those girls, memories of my last few years in the church came flooding back. I looked around at the familiar faces and realized how few of them I'd truly gotten to know over those years. It occurred to me that most of them won't even realize that I'm gone, and those that will notice will get over it. Most of my friendships have been pretty shallow. Now it seems too late to really change that. Pretty soon, I'll be making new friends. Hopefully, I will have learned from my past mistakes and won't treat them the same way. I'm really sorry about the way I've treated my old friends. I wish I had taken more time to get to know them and have closer relationships with people. From now on, I'm going to make an honest effort to be closer to my friends.
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